Welcome to Alibi Fine Drycleaning & Shirt
Laundry, Anytown's quality cleaner, where we are not responsible
for anything.
- We are not responsible for garments with unusual combinations
of fabrics
- We are not responsible for garments with unusual textures
- We are not responsible for garments with trims and
embellishments
- We are not responsible for buttons that get scratched, chipped,
broken or lost
- We are not responsible for buttons that get loose
- We are not responsible for buckles and other hardware that get
scratched, chipped, broken or lost
- We are not responsible for shoulder pads that become
misshaped
- We are not responsible for zippers that break or don't
slide
- We are not responsible for elastic that stretches or
disintegrates
- We are not responsible for garments with inaccurate or
incomplete care labels
- We are not responsible for debris or personal effects left in
your pockets
- We are not responsible for spots and stains
- We are not responsible for using aggressive, dye-stripping
drycleaning solvents
- We are not responsible for using cheap drycleaning detergents
or for not using any detergents
- We are not responsible for misclassifying your garments by
color or fragility
- We are not responsible for cleaning in dirty drycleaning
solvents or fluids
- We are not responsible for whites that turn grey or dingy
- We are not responsible for colors that fade or dull
- We are not responsible for dyes that bleed
- We are not responsible for garments that smell of "drycleaning
solvent"
- We are not responsible for garments that feel stiff and
scratchy
- We are not responsible for machine pressing your garments
- We are not responsible for garments that exhibit shine, flap or
button impressions, or wrinkled seams and linings
- We are not responsible for rippled collars on coats, sport
coats and jackets
- We are not responsible for lapels that are improperly
pressed
- We are not responsible for garments that are returned with
creased sleeves
- We are not responsible for garments that are returned with a
fragrance or perfume smell
- We are not responsible for knits that shrink, stretch or
otherwise change dimension
- We are not responsible for laundering your shirts in hot (even
boiling) water
- We are not responsible for using harsh, caustic, industrial
grade laundry detergents and bleaches
- We are not responsible for starching your shirts with cheap
synthetic glues
- We are not responsible for replacing missing or bent collar
stays
- We are not responsible for collar stay impressions from our
pressing
- We are not responsible for gluing bar codes onto your
garments
- We are not responsible for removing the bar codes that we glue
onto your garments
- We are not responsible for open seams and loose hems
- We are not responsible for missing or loose snaps, hooks and
eyes
- We are not responsible for wrinkling your garments when
cramming them into narrow poly bags
I could go on and on. But I won't. I think you've got the
drift.
Does this listing resonate with you? If you're looking for a
responsible cleaner, consult a true quality cleaner.
How can I help you?