Seinfeld
fans may recall an episode in which Jerry accuses his dry cleaner
of wearing a jacket that Jerry left to be cleaned and pressed. The
dry cleaner indignantly responds to the (truthful) accusation by
telling Jerry that no dry cleaner would dare to do such thing
because "its contrary to the dry cleaners code of ethics."
I wonder if mischaracterizing or lying about the dry cleaning
solvent or fluid a cleaner uses is also "contrary to the dry
cleaners code of ethics?"
Apparently telling clients that they clean in a
specific dry cleaning solvent or fluid -- perchloroethylene
(aka perc), synthetic petroleum, siloxane, pure liquid carbon
dioxide, hybrid glycol ether/liquid carbon dioxide and/or water --
is far too specific for most cleaners. So they distort,
misrepresent or lie about the dry cleaning solvent or fluid they
use. This is particularly true of those cleaners who clean (or
claim to clean) in
synthetic petroleum.
Instead of telling you the specific dry cleaning solvent or
fluid they use, they proffer nuanced answers such as
- "We're a green dry cleaner."
No, you're a dry cleaner. And before
I can make a determination as to whether your dry cleaning solvent
or fluid is green or not, you need to tell me the generic name of
the specific dry cleaning solvent or fluid you use.
- "We're an organic dry cleaner.
No, your solvent is synthetic
petroleum. And
synthetic petroleum is not
organic in the same way
that a consumer understands the word organic.
- "We're a non-toxic dry cleaner."
No, your solvent is synthetic petroleum. And
synthetic petroleum is toxic. In this regard, it's no different
than perchloroethylene (aka perc).
- "We're an environmentally-friendly dry cleaner."
No, your solvent is synthetic
petroleum. And synthetic petroleum is not environmentally friendly.
In this regard, it's no different than perchloroethylene (aka
perc).
No, your solvent is synthetic
petroleum. If you cleaned in siloxane, pure carbon dioxide, or
hybrid glycol ether/carbon dioxide, you surely would say so.
- "Our dry cleaning solvent is DF 2000."
No, your solvent is synthetic
petroleum. DF 2000 is just Exxon Mobil's brand of synthetic
petroleum.
- "Our dry cleaning solvent is EcoSolv."
No, your solvent is synthetic
petroleum. EcoSolv is just Conoco Phillips' brand of synthetic
petroleum.
- "We're a hydrocarbon dry cleaner."
No, your solvent is synthetic
petroleum. OK, I admit it. Synthetic petroleum is a hydrocarbon
solvent. So you're not technically lying. Just intentionally and
consciously confusing your customers about the nature of your dry
cleaning solvent or fluid.
No, your solvent is synthetic
petroleum. And DF 2000 isn't a generic form of siloxane. Never has
been. Never will be.
- "We're a carbon dioxide (CO2) dry cleaner."
No. You're a hybrid CO2
cleaner. Your solvent is glycol ether, not CO2. You only rinse in
liquid CO2 after first cleaning your garments in glycol ether.
It is my understanding that Jerry Seinfeld will deliver the
keynote address at the Clean Show, the next major dry cleaning
convention scheduled to take place in Las Vegas in 2011.
And the title of his address? "How to achieve a competitive
advantage by misrepresenting, distorting and lying. And avoid
getting caught."
How can I help you?