You pride yourself on your
appearance. So you've invested time and money in a range of fine
shirts. You may even have a personal clothier who tailors your
shirts to your specific measurements. Of course, you want those
shirts to look, feel and smell great. And last much longer.
Like most, you'll probably turn to a "professional shirt
laundry" for help.
And what happens there?
They take 50 to 60 "laundry" shirts. Scrub the collars and cuffs
with a hard-bristled brush. Sort them into two loads: "lights" and
"darks". Then subdivide each load into "starch" and "no starch".
Next, stuff a load into a 60 lb. shirt washer, adding hot (even
boiling) water, harsh caustic industrial grade detergents and
bleach. Starch with cheap synthetic glue. Remove the damp shirts
from the washer and run them through a series of pressing machines
that have all the subtlety and precision of a sledgehammer. At a
rate of 40 to 50 shirts (or more) per hour. Then, using a hand
iron, touch up the underarms (maybe) and crease the sleeves in an
attempt to conceal any evidence of machine pressing and pass them
off as a "hand finished" or "hand ironed" shirt. Finally, cram the
finished shirts into narrow poly bags so that they're returned
looking only slightly better than the day they were sent in or
dropped off. Or machine fold them for that desired "slept in"
look.
So what are your shirt laundry rights? And what should you
expect from a shirt laundry?
The right to shirts that are exceptionally clean
and free of both oil-based stains (such as body oil, creams,
lotions, salad dressing, steak sauce, etc.) and water-based stains
(such as perspiration, soda, juice, wind, etc.).- The right to spectacularly bright whites, creams and
pastels.
- The right to colors that are bright, without that "washed out",
faded look.
- The right to collars and cuffs, including french cuffs, that
are pristine clean.
- The right to fabrics that don't have a crusty, cardboard
feel.
- The right to shirts that are meticulously ironed. By hand. Not
by machine.
- The right to sleeves without a sharp crease along the entire
sleeve length.
- The right to seams that aren't puckered or wrinkled.
- The right to front and sleeve plackets that aren't puckered or
wrinkled.
- The right to collars and cuffs that are fully rounded. Not flat
or creased.
- The right to collars that are perfectly turned down at the
back.
- The right to shirts that are carefully inspected.
- The right to shirts with a complete set of matching
buttons.
- The right to shirts on hangers that are individually bagged. Or
folded by hand, not by machine.
And how can your shirt laundry achieve the results?
By first soaking your shirts in a gentle dry
cleaning fluid (to dissolve oil-based stains) and then in a
water-based solution (to eliminate water-based stains)
instead of scrubbing your collars and cuffs with
hard-bristled brushes and "collar/cuff solution" in an attempt to
get them reasonably clean.- By gently wet cleaning your shirts in cool or warm water
instead of washing your shirts in hot water in an
attempt to dissolve the oil-based stains.
- By using a gentle enzyme detergent instead of
a harsh, caustic, industrial grade detergent in an attempt to
eliminate the water-based stains.
- By using no bleach instead of adding
fabric-destroying bleach in an attempt to get your whites really
white.
- By using a premium, natural wheat starch instead
of starching your shirts with cheap synthetic glue (that
adheres to your shirt's fibers like multiple coats of paint) in an
attempt to save a few pennies per shirt.
- By hand ironing your shirts instead of machine
pressing them at a rate of 40 to 50 per hour, which leaves your
shirts with puckered seams, wrinkled collars, cuffs, underarms,
sleeve pleats, sleeve plackets and front plackets, and wrinkled
cuff/sleeve and sleeve/body joins.
- By taking the time to do the job right (3 to 5 days in most
cases) instead of routinely offering same and next
day service or 3 day pickup and delivery service.
Unfortunately, fine garment care - true quality cleaning -
requires more than just a knowledge of loading and unloading a
shirt washer or dry clean machine, and banging those garments out
on a press. And more than just an assembly-line cleaning and
pressing operation where every garment is barcoded and treated as
interchangeable irrespective of original cost. Based on this
definition, I could teach any Hallmark Card store employee to be a
dry cleaner/presser in 2 weeks. (Sorry, I take that back. In 1
week.)
Truth is, fine garment care - true quality cleaning - requires
an extensive knowledge of and commitment to the art and science of
textiles, garment construction, cleaning and hand ironing; a
never-ending commitment to process improvement (no matter how
marginal); a stubbornness to reject labor saving technologies that
negatively impacts true quality; an unyielding commitment to invest
in true quality rather than extract every last penny out of the
cleaning, hand ironing and packaging process; a sense of pride in
one's work; a passion for perfection (to the extent that perfection
is achievable); the time necessary
to "do the job right;" and most importantly, a personal philosophy
that says that true quality has inherent meaning and value - for
the cleaner, his employees and his clients.